My heart hurt for you when I read this. I relate with the guilt you have over hurting your wife, I feel the same. In the end, though, I try to remind myself I didn't choose to be born in the wrong body, and now that I know, I gave my wife the choice to stay and get to know the woman, or move on and find a man that is capable of loving her as a man should so that she can be fulfilled and happy in life. My choice to come out, hurt her deeply, but in a way liberated her from a decade of living with someone who was shutdown and emotionally unavailable. Don't feel shame over being a “Trans” woman. Yes we have a stigma, yes we are going to be perceived as different at times, but we get a unique perspective of life and the world, and we can use that to form friendships with both men and women on a level Cis people never get. Dysphoria is a bitch, it will abuse us in the mirror, but we have to remember how much better off we are now. Thank you for writing this, every time I read another story it validates my journey and reminds us we are not alone!